After
33 years of living as a baptized Christian, my Heavenly Father, Lord and God
has begun to bless me by opening my eyes ever so slightly that I may begin to
see and by opening my ears that I may ever so slightly begin to hear, and has awakened
my senses that I may ever so slightly begin to, at long last, comprehend in
some small way the true nature of His mercy and the true nature of the infinite
sacrifices He made on our behalf. The
ultimate, infinitely valuable beyond any ability to comprehend, exponentially
ever increasing value of the sacrifice of Jesus upon the cross in order that
God's Holy Will be fulfilled has been lost to me throughout my entire existence
until very recently
God is purging the sinful ways from us to
make us worthy to serve Him that we may bring forth more fruit from the vine of
Jesus and glorify the Lord in all aspects of life. I can truly look back on my past trials that
I thought were insurmountable torture and with sincere joy give thanks to God
for those trials. For now I understand
that were it not for those trials of fire, I would not be in the service of the
Lord at this moment. He purges the sin out
of his children by guiding them through trials, (fire) that seem so horrible
while a person is experiencing the situation.
But, because our society has forgotten that a parent who truly loves
their child disciplines their child so that they will learn. We have been deceived into believing that
discipline hurts a child when in truth, discipline is one of the greatest true
manifestations of a parent’s deep love for their offspring. Of course there is abuse that is completely
different and of course utterly unacceptable, but we have been deceived to
believe that any discipline is abuse. However,
as in all things, we see the truth in Jesus’ example as he disciplines his
children in love so that they will be purged of sin and bear fruit.
And so now it is plain to me that before,
even though my eyes were open, was I blind.
But now, the Lord has healed me so that my eyes finally see. The same of my ears that even though they
heard, were deaf. But now the Lord has
healed me so that my ears finally hear.
He has called me to Him and awakened my senses and it was with amazement
that I read the 14th chapter of John and for the first time REALLY
SAW and PERCEIVED and UNDERSTOOD that those who truly love Him follow all of
his commandments. So it follows that even
though you think you love him but follow not his commandments you love Him
not. And for the first time I understood
the word he gave us promising the Comforter, the Holy Spirit who would come
after Jesus had gone to be with His Father.
With FAITH comes hearing and hearing from the Word of God. If you can just trust Him enough to allow
yourself to have the tiniest amount of TRUE faith, you will be able to hear,
and able to see and you will be amazed and transformed while yet you walk in
the flesh. Once you see, even death has
loses its terror. With true faith, comes
knowing. Once you know, the truth is
plain to you and the truth is not something to be feared, but to look forward
to. I KNOW what happens at death and
realize it’s simply a transition from this carnal existence to the spirit world
with the Lord which is where I’m from in the first place! I even look forward to that moment when I
have satisfied the Lord’s calling for my existence on the earth and am ready to
serve him in the next stage of existence that he has for me. Where ever, what ever, it’s fine with me
because I know I will be worshipping the Lord in his presence for
eternity. Glory to God! Please read the following passage of
scripture first praying that the Lord will open your eyes and ears to what is
plainly before you. Are you of this
world? …whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither
knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.
John 14: 15 If ye love me, keep my commandments.16 And I
will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may
abide with you for ever;17 Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot
receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he
dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.18 I will not leave you comfortless: I
will come to you.19 Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; but ye
see me: because I live, ye shall live also.20 At that day ye shall know that I
am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you.21 He that hath my commandments,
and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved
of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.
John 14:23 Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love
me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto
him, and make our abode with him.24 He that loveth me not keepeth not my
sayings: and the word which ye hear is not mine, but the Father's which sent
me.25 These things have I spoken unto you, being yet present with you.26 But
the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name,
he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever
I have said unto you.27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not
as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither
let it be afraid.28 Ye have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come
again unto you. If ye loved me, ye would rejoice, because I said, I go unto the
Father: for my Father is greater than I.29 And now I have told you before it
come to pass, that, when it is come to pass, ye might believe.30 Hereafter I
will not talk much with you: for the prince of this world cometh, and hath
nothing in me.31 But that the world may know that I love the Father; and as the
Father gave me commandment, even so I do. Arise, let us go hence.
The latest truth Jesus has revealed to me is perhaps the
most difficult so far. It concerns being
granted my first understanding of the true nature of the sacrifice He underwent
during His crucifixion. I understand
that this is not a new revelation as I’m sure many have perceived this that was
revealed to me earlier and also in greater depth than I am able at this point
to bear. However, I write this not of my
own urging but by the burden the Lord placed upon my heart to share my
understanding of this horrible yet beautiful subject. I fully realize that my understanding of this
is in its infancy still and only share it in the hopes that it brings greater
awareness of the cost of sin to others.
I pray that all will understand this and realize that I share this
understanding not as one who knows anything at all but one who understands just
how little he does know. With each
revelation of His Glory, I grow smaller.
I pray that I continue to decrease that His Glory may increase. With each new revelation given to me by the
Father, I realize how little I understand and now know that it will take
eternity for me to gain the slightest comprehension of His awesome nature. I stand each day in renewed Awe at His wonder
and Magnificence.
In his infinite mercy, I now understand that it wasn’t
revealed to me in full but only with a tiny portion of comprehension to begin
with as the full realization of the horror endured by my Lord would literally
be more than I could bear on a vast scale.
Most of my life and even after my true re-birth in the Holy Spirit of
Jesus I just honestly didn’t comprehend the depth of Jesus’ sacrifices for
us. He revealed a small fragment of the
total understanding of what he endured for us recently and placed it on my
heart to share this understanding with other believers. Before I continue, please join me in my
prayer below or make your own prayer that He has allowed me to convey his
message accurately and that you perceive from it what He wishes for you to
perceive.
I pray to you my
Father, my Lord and my God Jesus, the Christ, King of Kings, Prince of Peace and
Lord of Lords that you will bless me with the ability to convey through this
writing a true understanding of Your experience during Your crucifixion and
sacrifice which You endured and suffered on behalf of each individual as worthy
compensation for the sum total cost of all sin bought willingly by each person
and for which was due full payment of each though no one individual or together
massed possessed sufficient value with which to make payment. Therefore as man comprehends not that all sin
incidental or purposed requires payment and as such the only available
consolation foreclosed upon each sinful soul being its eternal torment in the
pit though being wholly insufficient as payment furthermore eternal damnation
which is manifest as eternal, un-redeemable separation from Almighty God which
is un-bearable by any man yet doomed to be borne by all in never ending wailing
and gnashing of teeth. Allow each I pray
to comprehend the very real cost each of us were going to pay had Almighty God
not so loved the world that he gave you Lord Jesus, His only begotten Son that
whosoever believeth on You should not perish but have everlasting life. I pray that each be granted sight
sufficient to comprehend these truths such that each subsequent reader will
genuinely comprehend the level of suffering endured by Jesus so that His
sacrifices for us will not fall victim to the sin of familiarity as we in our
state of blindness are accustomed to hearing that He died for our sins and having
not received the full benefit of comprehending His suffering and thus His love
for us. Without this comprehension, we
cannot fully appreciate the true cost of our sins and what Jesus suffered on
our behalf to literally save us from eternal damnation and separation from God. Father, bless me to accurately express your
suffering on the miniscule scale you have granted me to understand that all
readers will be blessed with a deeper understanding of what agony our casual
attitude towards sin causes you to endure.
I pray that you bless each reader with revelation of your Holy mysteries
hidden In plain sight in the Holy Scriptures but unable to be seen by those who
have not been allowed to see because they are of this world which comprehendeth
you not. Father, as the days remaining
are truly short, I pray that you would extend your mercy, though they as we all
deserve it not, upon all those remaining that have refused to confess their
sins. Cause them Father to see clearly
and awaken from confounding sleep so that surely they will submit willingly and
obediently to you as they accept you as the Lord of their lives and their
Almighty God while repenting of their sins.
I pray that you forcefully shake to wakefulness each who languishes
still under hypnosis by the prince of this world that they may come to their
senses and call out to You in repentance Father less they are only awakened too
late by the trump of your arrival on the terrible day of judgment. My Father I pray you to grant these supplications,
and forgive me for asking more of your mercy when it has surely been extended
beyond my comprehension already and thus is seen as even more evidence of your
divine perfection, if these things be within your precious Holy Will, in the
Holy name of Jesus the Christ, The only begotten Son, The Word, The spotless
Lamb of God; Amen.
My precious Lord Jesus recently brought awareness to me of
something that is of utmost importance.
Though I believe with all that I have that he gave his spotless life
upon the cross in horrific sacrifice that we might believe in him and be
granted salvation for our sins and eternal life rather than eternal death which
is un-redeemable separation from Him. He
made visible to me for the first time in my existence a small degree of the
level and nature of his true suffering and thus gave me a truer picture of the
un-fathomable sacrifice he made for us.
I have mostly concentrated, during my consideration of The
Lord Jesus’ sacrifices on the cross, the physical pain suffered by the Lord due
in large part to his humanity. What had
escaped me due in large part to my poor understanding of his many faceted
nature was the suffering endured by his Holiness. For Jesus was indeed completely human while
simultaneously being completely God. It
has been this duality that has eluded my understanding as a human; my life
until recently being spent in largely a carnal understanding rather than
spiritual. As He has developed my
spiritual nature, He has begun to shed awareness on me about the deeper
sacrifices He made for us. I’ll avoid
further discussing his physical suffering as I cannot do it I’m sure more
justice of understanding than others have done and will suffice it to say
another would simply have not made it to the cross after having been beaten to
partial blindness, to partial disembowelment, near total loss of blood volume,
and simply being overwhelmed in the sensory arena. All this coupled with the long route during
which He carried at least a 200 pound wooden cross and then the actual
attachment by nailing and other little known obscenities such as the hook
commonly inserted in the condemned person’s backside to increase pain and keep
the nails from tearing out of the flesh.
It’s surprising to most to learn that the usual cause of death was
suffocation due to the inability to draw breath after gravity took its natural
course.
That despite all of this, in my former life I secretly
dismissed much of this suffering as I assumed he simply caused himself in a
supernatural manner to not feel the pain, is a point that brings more shame to
me than I can hardly bare but I admit it to you openly as an additional
confession of this terrible sin before my Lord and also in hopes that
confessing this sin publically will humble me even more and cause me to never
be able to deny this truth. Of all the
past sins and sinful thoughts that I allowed to manifest in my self, whether
through my own cognition or placed there by the temptor notwithstanding, none
the less this awful sin that I committed is a source of ultimate shame to me
and I continue to beg for His mercy regarding it.
To my human thinking, the physical pain suffered by Jesus was
all that registered but I take it as blissful testament to the more spiritual
nature of my current self that the Lord has allowed me to begin to perceive the
spiritual pain he felt. Jesus, according
to the beginning of the book of John, WAS in the beginning: “ In the beginning was the Word, and the Word
was with God, and the Word was God.2 The same was in the beginning with God.3
All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was
made.4 In him was life; and the life was the light of men.5 And the light
shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not”. Turn on any light in any dark room and see
how many times the darkness overcomes a small light bulb, the darkness
certainly comprehendeth it not. True
because of the laws of physics or the laws of physics are what they are due to
the Word? Let’s just say He is also
teaching me the power of his Word. I
mean Jesus, I mean His Word, well I mean Both! I also mistakenly for most of my
life, thought he was born into existence when Mary gave human birth to him as
the only begotten Son of God. Recently
however, the Lord has blessed me with a small understanding of His
divinity. As Jesus told the disciples in
John 14, “If ye had known me, ye should have known my Father also: and from
henceforth ye know him, and have seen him.” What I’ve found most comforting is
just to remember that His ways are above our ways and above our understanding. I don’t totally comprehend His nature but
somehow at the same time part of me does, the part that doesn’t know how to
convey it through words yet! He’s God
and the Word and the Son and infinitely more…He’s God, and beside Him there is
No Other! Amen? Amen. He’s
literal, metaphysical, multi-faceted and just about completely beyond human
ability to comprehend. This is probably
as it should be as for me it just seems somewhat off limits to allow myself to
contemplate the nature of his divinity. I
was utterly confused for most of my life I now know regarding His nature as I
would venture to state are all those who are still of this world and without
the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. Since
being re-born of the Holy Spirit I have been blessed with a tiny comprehension
of Him that has allowed me to contemplate many, many more facets of his
majesty, grace, Glory, etc. but even now I am more aware than ever that he is
simply beyond my ability to fully comprehend.
I fully anticipate that I will have only scratched the surface of
comprehending His eternal, infinite nature.
He is God, and beside Him is no other.
His ways are truly above our ways and I believe we should worship Him
for whatever understanding He grants each of us regarding Himself and be
satisfied at the amazing realization that The Lord Himself bestowed any
understanding of His nature upon us.
What he graces us to comprehend I believe is a divine indication of the
manner of how He wills that each of us worship him. As for me, I’m pretty certain that it will take
me an eternity to, in some tiny way, get my head wrapped around the fact the
God ever acknowledged me at all, period!
I don’t know any greater occurrence that a person can experience. When you truly begin to KNOW and meditate on
the realization that you are an individual creation of Almighty God and that He
knows you utterly completely to a point far beyond the point that you
comprehend yourself. He planned every
aspect of you and created you for His pleasure and Glory before the foundation
of the world. Never think of yourself as
worthless. No matter your struggles, you
are created of God and are rightly His.
Being allowed to awaken from the fog of this world and reach a decision
to seek Him is a true cause to rejoice.
For you overcame the deception of the world which comprehendeth Him not
and found your way back to Him; when you declare Him and confess Him as the
Lord of your life and give your life to Him you are really just returning what
is His. There is no more joyous moment I
can think of than when a creation of God returns in willing, obedient
submission to his Father renouncing the flesh and carnality and accepting the
loving correction, purging and pruning willingly and rejoicing as He transforms
you. Oh if those who are lost to Him
could only understand for the smallest instant and have the tiniest realization
of the Truth. I shudder in horror at the
mere thought of the instant realization they will feel when The Lord sounds His
Trump and it’s truly too late. To
comprehend that you have been fooled by the deceiver and now will un-avoidably
face the un-redeemable, total separation from God your Creator that will be
your infinite torture causing wailing and gnashing of teeth for all eternity
and making the agony of the flame pale in comparison. I don’t think, in my own insignificant
opinion, that anything saddens The Father more than even one, no not one, be
lost. I perceive him as a human and God
the Father and the Son of Almighty God.
God the Father made His Word flesh and sent him into the world. The understanding given to me by the Lord was
a reference to when God stored His commandments away in the Ark of the
Covenant. He hid it from Himself so that
He wouldn’t be reminded of how badly we were behaving, not following his
commandments and kill us on the spot.
Thus, God put it out of the immediate proximity of his awareness and
therefore his wrath. Similarly, the
portion of Himself that He sent to the world as the Son, He caused to put aside
the constant recognition of who He was so that He could truly be all human
while actually being all God. He had to
raise Himself up as a human with free will and the ability to be tempted so
that He could overcome sin totally and thus be a worthy sacrifice to atone for
all sin. He was aware of the Holy
Presence within him and that was sufficient to deny sin and the flesh until the
Holy Spirit descended upon him at his Baptism when he was found favorable by
the Father and given supernatural powers and the boldness to witness
confidently. This, according to Jesus
Himself, is the same level of anointing given to those who follow Him who
receive the Holy Spirit. We of little faith. We who have been indwelt of the Holy Spirit
can do all the Jesus did and greater.
John 14:12: Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the
works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do;
because I go unto my Father.13 And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that
will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.14 If ye shall ask any
thing in my name, I will do it.
So although Jesus was completely human, he was completely
God also and perfect, spotless without sin.
And it is because of that spotless nature that he truly suffered on the
cross. God doesn’t mix with sin. It just is not. Far beyond the physical agony He suffered was
the agony caused by the guilt of all sin being placed on his soul. ALL sin.
Jesus, the spotless lamb of God who knew not sin at all was made guilty
on the cross of All sin. Every sin
committed from Eve taking of the forbidden fruit until that day. Every sin being committed at that time, which
was bad I assume since we were at that time torturing God to death even though
it was ordained, we still did it of our own free will, and then EVERY sin from
then on through present day till the end of the world. Still sounds like not a big deal for God to
handle you say? The nature of sin has
always eluded we humans. One sin is
beyond our ability to atone for. We
don’t have an amount of value worth enough to pay for even one sin. Sin is sin.
It’s most clearly looked at by realizing that God is perfect, infinitely
good. He does not abide sin which is
evil, infinitely evil. You are either a
sinner or you aren’t. Because we aren’t
worth enough to pay for our sin, the only option available for us was to be
punished eternally, in an infinite manner of punishment. The only sufficient punishment and indeed the
only possibility since we can’t atone for our sin and God doesn’t exist along
side of sin is for us to be completely, totally, un-redeemably separated from
God.
We don’t do very good at comprehending this. I can only remember being separated from the
will of God in a small portion during a time that I was at my worst
behavior. God never separated from me, I
separated from Him, JUST a tiny, tiny bit.
It was without doubt the worst pit of unfathomable despair, hopelessness
and anguish that I ever experienced and praise God, it caused me to RUN back to
him in repentance. I simply cannot
fathom being infinitely, un-redeemably, no matter how much you cry and scream
and beg for eternity, suffering total isolation from life, light thus being
infinitely overwhelmed for eternity without hope of ever getting out by total
darkness, cold, evil, agony. Words don’t
suffice unfortunately to make enough of an impression. I pray God will allow you to feel whatever
level of the hopelessness you need to make you run to him. Your immortal soul is at stake.
Jesus, the spotless lamb of God who had no idea of sin even
as much as we have was subjected to the sum TOTAL of ALL sin, PERIOD. And what you haven’t realized is that when
that happened, God left him. Really. Completely.
Fortunately, we have no way to comprehend the actual pain that caused
Jesus. But it’s enough for me to realize
that when I sinned, purposefully at times, mockingly, braggingly, I was
subjecting the One I love beyond All others, Jesus my Lord, to this Hell. And, the only
reason He was subjected to it rather than me who actually earned and
deserved it is because of God’s amazing infinite mercy and love for us. But we take his love and mercy for
granted. We get so used to hearing Jesus
died for our sins that we just keep on sinning.
I for one am terrified beyond belief at this seemingly
simple comprehension. I somehow know
that if I sin again, Jesus will still pay even though his sacrifice was in the
past. I don’t know how, just a thought
but I believe a thought from God. Maybe
we don’t perceive time as it actually is.
Whatever, I refuse to sin again under any knowledge of committing any
sin and pray that I always keep the Lord’s commandments thus proving that I
truly love Him and continually pray asking for divine protection in the solemn
determination to avoid further sin with all dilligence. I fear beyond all fear that I will sin
because I am mortal but also have been re-born of the Holy Spirit and therefore
intend no boasting in my determination to avoid sin for the remainder of my
time even though I have until recently sinned without much in the way of
un-sinful existence but have all faith that He who is within me is greater than
he who is in the world and it is in Him that I place my faithful hope of
avoiding sin, not in myself who is able to do nothing of my self but who can do
all things through Christ who strengthens me.
How I pray to God to make me avoid it at all costs. I know without doubt that I can’t pay for
it. And I know God loves me so much that
he paid the un thinkable cost for me but I can’t let myself cause Him to suffer
that again. If you are a redeemed disciple
of Jesus I pray you will commit completely to worshipping Him in fear and
trembling without ceasing until He returns praying that you at the very least
make the greatest possible effort to not sin against Him again. Now you and I know. We don’t have an excuse and I for one am
utterly, totally, terrified at the possibility of committing further sin
against him. I know that I have been a
sinner but Jesus paid the INFINITE cost to redeem my sins and he was alone
worthy to pay the horrific debt owed by us all.
Now, of those to whom much is given, much is required. It is your duty once He has graced you with
the indwelling of His Holy Spirit to guard against committing additional sin
with all you have and that is now saying all there is to say because you
literally have the power of Jesus within you to empower you to “do all things
through Christ who strengthens me.” II
Peter 2:20; For if after they have escaped the pollutions
of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, they
are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them
than the beginning.21 For it had been better for them not to have known the way
of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy
commandment delivered unto them.22 But it is happened unto them according to
the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that
was washed to her wallowing in the mire.
1 Peter 5:6 Humble yourselves therefore
under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:7 Casting all
your care upon him; for he careth for you.8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your
adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may
devour:9 Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions
are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.10 But the God of all
grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye
have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.11 To
him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.
If you haven’t been saved, I pray the God will shake you
awake and slap you hard enough to knock some sense into you. I BEG you to just for one instant consider
Jesus. It seems silly to you and many of
you have a real gut splitter of a laugh at we stupid believers but my poor,
condemned fellow member of the human race, if you will just allow yourself to
realize that you are being purposefully deceived by the beast himself, that old serpent who travels
up and down the earth seeking the ruin of men’s souls to accompany him during
eternity in infinite torment. I BEG you
to make yourself just at least consider the possibility that you are wrong and to
see the error of your ways. I’m not
interested in being politically correct.
I’m only interested that you haven’t had your sin’s debt paid by Jesus’
sacrifices. As a result you will have to
suffer as I related above unless you accept Jesus as your Lord. I pray that God doesn’t suffer the terrible sadness
that even one of his children forsake him for sin. Time is running out. May God continue to have mercy upon our
souls. Thank you precious Jesus, my Lord
and My GOD!
